20 January 2010

Sir Felix (For my lovely fat cat).

Black and white
A ball of black and white
Shoved in the back of a tiny cat carrier
(This is the first thing I remember about you).

I remember reaching in and pulling you out
I remember seeing your six toes
I knew I had to have you.

The day we lost you
Then found you sick--
bleeding, hurt, marled.

I still remember how terrified I was
How it shook through my bones
Like an earthquake.

I remember the day we brought you back home
One less tooth
Still my baby.

I think about all this as you lay across my feet,
vibrating the bed with your thunderous purrs.
All I have to do is look at you and you start.

You've been here, seen it all.
You've seen us through all pets--
the 2 dogs, the 3 more cats.
You've been here, you've accepted.

Ten years, or is it really eleven?
Eleven years and
Still my baby.

I think about all this as you saunter your
body up the bed to my face,
As you lay next to me taking up the
rest of the bed.

I fear what lies ahead
how many more pets you'll see us through.

But you--what do you fear?
(Besides strangers, and loud noises, and my guitar "playing").
You do not fear the Future.

You instead remind me, as I scratch your
chin, your face, behind your ears,
down your back, up your tail;
You remind me as you reach out with your big paw toward my hand;
You remind me as you lick my fingers with your sandpaper tongue,
rough yet somehow gentle;
You remind me, Sir Felix,
to just appreciate the moment.

(And for that I love you most.)

1 comment :

Tell me all your thoughts on cats.