10 March 2010

You're just like a dream.

I think the hardest part about being where I am in life right now--20 almost 21, one year left of college, single--is having the entire world ahead of me, and a million dreams.  I want to do so many things in my life, and I'm scared I won't get around to all of them, or give up one in the pursuit of another and miss out on that dream.  I don't for one second wish I was without these dreams, but I wish I could just sort out the ones that won't come to fruition, to get the heartache over with early.
It's these dreams that I think about as I sit in my kitchen, supposed to be doing homework, instead drinking coffee, wondering where my life is going, or how this moment right now is going to play into the bigger context of my life or if I'll ever remember sitting here at the kitchen table, thinking about my future, drinking coffee and not doing homework.
Where is my life going?  I'm meeting with my academic advisor today to have that exact question answered (at least from an academic standpoint).  I want to be done with this part of my life, I guess, so I can decide the rest of my life.  Like, do I want to go to grad school? And where? And for what?  Or do I want to move to Mexico, open up a yoga retreat center in Jalisco, live in the jungle, drive a Volkswagen? You see, just like the countless stories I have unfinished sitting in my hard drive and journals, I have all these visions for where my life could possibly go, and they are all great, but to have one means not having the other.
What's a girl to do in a world so big, when her dreams are even bigger?


1 comment :

  1. You have a lifetime ahead of you. You need to make sure all your dreams are fulfilled. YOu make them happen.

    So refreshing to see such a positive 21 year old.


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